On Your Side
by marysunshine81
Summary: a fight with some possibly serious consequences, a sort of dark McHart story in 4 chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Timeline:** definitely after Silver Bullet, not specified, but it's about 1-2 years later, I think

**Disclaimer:** unfortunately I don't own the characters, they belong to the writers of TGW and CBS

**Note: **Call me crazy, but ever since I saw an awesome fight scene in another TV show I've been planning to write a fight between Diane and Kurt. I just had to find a good enough reason to create an angst-ridden atmosphere for them, I hope it worked! This story was supposed to end with Ch3, but then I wrote Ch4, which will be the end I think. It has some cruel cliff hangers, just thought I warn you beforehand. It's dark, not fluffy at all, but I still hope you'll like it!

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

"What are these?"

He looked up from the newspaper he'd been reading, just to find her standing in front of him, with something in her hands, that he should have hidden from her. Judging from the look on her face, she was not pleased. Not that he'd expected her to like those at once, but it wasn't the way he'd planned on showing them to her. He'd been waiting for the right time to discuss them with her and that night was definitely not the right time.

"Hello to you too," he said smiling, trying to ease the tension that was already in the air.

"Cut the small talk cowboy," she said a little playfully and it gave him hope that they might actually be able to talk about it calmly, "What are these?"

"Plane tickets," he said, stating the obvious, without taking his eyes off her face.

"I can see that. But why are they here?"

"I…I thought we could…"

He hesitated, because he already saw the flashes of anger in her eyes, which predicted that this conversation wouldn't go too smoothly after all.

"We could what? I thought I had been clear about this, I can't go anywhere now."

"You were, but…"

But he still had hopes. He suggested going on a vacation together several times, but she'd always rejected his offers. There were always perfect excuses why she couldn't go. There was always a new case or an important client or simply problems at the firm that she couldn't leave behind. He got tired of asking, and decided to surprise her instead. And even though he should have hidden the tickets, something he'd accidentally forgotten to do, he'd already figured it wouldn't have made a difference after all. She would probably have reacted the same way.

"There's no _but_, I'm not going."

"Diane!"

"Don't Diane me! Have I or have I not told you that I don't have time for a vacation?"

"You have, but…"

"I don't want to hear about it. Take these back, or go on your own, or with whoever you want, I don't care."

She didn't raise her voice that much, but she obviously seemed angry. He knew she didn't mean what she'd just said, but it still hurt him that she talked that way, even if he didn't show it.

"I want to go _with you_."

"But I'm not going anywhere."

"You need a vacation, you need to rest, you need to get away from your firm, your work, you need it."

She'd been working day and night in the last few weeks, maybe months. He had never seen her so exhausted before. She didn't have time to rest and she didn't have time for him. He was there, he was patient because he was hoping it would be over soon and then they could go on this vacation, where they would have time to rest, to talk, to be together. He was more worried about her than about their relationship, but he'd been feeling neglected lately, even though he never complained.

"Are we discussing this again? I don't like to be told what I need to do."

"Just look at yourself! Think back on the last few weeks, months. When was the last time you went to be bed before midnight? When was the last time you didn't work on a weekend? When was the last time you took a day off? When was the last time you did your physical? When was the last time you ate 3 times a day? You're killing yourself!"

He'd told her all this several times already, but she never listened. Still he insisted on repeating them over and over again, hoping that she'd actually hear his words at least once.

"It's my right."

"I won't just stand by while you drain yourself, I love you too much to let you do that."

This was his strongest argument, one that should have worked.

"Then don't. You can go, you can go any time you want. What's keeping you?"

Maybe it would have worked with anyone else, but not her. And he still wanted her, even though she hurt him again with her words.

"Are you listening to me?"

"No, I'm not. I've heard enough. I've been able to take care of myself perfectly fine all my life. How dare you lecture me?"

She did raise her voice at the last sentence, he probably hadn't seen her that angry before, he almost regretted going too far.

"Diane…" he looked at her calmly, ready to give up the fight, but she was looking angrily at him, then her look faded away, and she seemed to have lost balance for a short while.

"Diane?" he stepped closer to her, and she already lifted her hands in rejection, but the next moment she lost her balance completely.

"Diane!" he shouted and jumped to catch her from falling on the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

She slowly opened her eyes, and they met with a pair of anxious grey eyes staring at her.

"What happened?" she asked, because she couldn't remember how she ended up laying on the couch.

Last thing she remembered was him and her fighting, and that she almost lost her patience with him. They obviously went too far this time, she didn't remember if they'd ever had a fight like that before.

"You fainted," he stated.

She rolled her eyes.

"If you want to say _"I told you so"_ you don't even need to open your mouth. No, I haven't eaten anything since breakfast, and yes, I was looking forward to having dinner with you."

She hadn't had time to eat lunch that day, but it happened quite often, it was really nothing special. He was making such a big deal out of that and all the other things he threw at her head. All that was normal for her, it'd been like this all her life. He should have gotten used to it by then, he should have known who he'd committed himself to.

"Those are only two meals a day."

"Please leave the math, will you? I'm tired. Yes, you heard me right. It's been a long week, and I'll have to work during the weekend too."

"No, you won't."

"Are we starting over? You should probably let me eat something first so we can have equal opportunities. I'd hate to faint each time we get to a certain point," she tried to say this playfully, but she saw in his eyes, that he was determined.

She was aware that the fainting hadn't exactly helped her case. She knew that he had been worried about her, but he shouldn't have gone too far. He should have known better. He should have known that she didn't like people going behind her back. She knew what was best for her, she didn't need any help figuring it out.

Besides it was just a stupid vacation, she didn't understand why he insisted on it so much. She didn't remember the last time she'd been on a vacation, something always came in the way. He did bring up the subject from time to time, but she always found a reason to say no. She should have known he would have gotten tired of her rejections one day.

It was the reason of their first break up. She said no to going away with him, she rejected his proposal and he left her. And even though they found their way back to each other and tried to start over, her not having time to go away not even for a while had always been an issue. He had never hidden his disapproval of her working too much.

She wasn't used to having someone around, someone permanent, someone who judged her for living her life the way she did. She loved having him around, she loved having someone to go home to, but she couldn't leave her independent self behind. He might have changed her a little, but she wouldn't have let him change her too much.

"Fine, I'll bring your plate, just wait here."

"That's not necessary. I can walk there," she said and tried to sit up, but she felt dizzy all at once. She didn't want to show it, but she didn't feel her usual strength, so she couldn't risk standing up at that moment, even though it only helped him prove his point. She laid back.

"Thought so," he said silently and left in the direction of the kitchen.

She hated him at that moment. She hated him, because he might have been right. That fainting was definitely a sign, even though she didn't believe in signs. But she had to believe in her own body, which had let her down that night, the worst of all times. And he saw her fainting, and she could only imagine what consequences this would have for them now. He might end up worrying about her more, even though sometimes it had already been more than she could handle. She wasn't used to it, and she didn't feel like getting used to it either.

By the time he brought in her plate, she managed to sit up. He gave her the plate and sat down in the armchair again, opposite her. He didn't say a word, and he didn't bring a plate for himself.

"You're not eating?"

"I'm not hungry."

She saw that his look was too serious and she wasn't sure what else to say, so she decided to concentrate on her meal instead. She knew they needed to talk, and that they'd talk after she finished her dinner. She tried to collect her thoughts while eating and the silence between them gave her plenty of opportunities to do so. She hated that silence, she hated the fight, she hated that night.

He stopped looking at her after a while, and was focusing on the ground most of the time. She would have given anything to get to know what was going on in his head, even though she guessed that his thoughts weren't being too flattering to her.

When he heard her plate hit the table he looked up, and she saw the sadness in his eyes, that almost frightened her. She wanted to be the first to say something, but barely opened her mouth when she heard his voice.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this any more."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Surprise! Since I'll be out tomorrow for most of the day and wouldn't be able to post the new chapter at the usual time, I decided to post it a day earlier.  
>This was supposed to be the last chapter, but I somehow felt that something was still missing, so one more chapter will come next week. It's not a happy one either, but I hope you'll still like it.<p>

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

His words surprised her, she hadn't expected to hear that. She knew what he meant, she saw it in his eyes, it looked as if he'd given up, given up on them. She wasn't ready to give up on him. Not after their first serious fight about such a stupid topic. She'd said some things to him in the heat of the argument, but she didn't mean those, she didn't want him to go. She decided to try to turn back the conversation, hoping it wasn't too late yet.

"Do what?" she asked fearing his reply.

"Worry about you."

She was actually relieved to hear this, it convinced her that there was still hope they could discuss it without serious consequences.

"Then don't, I'm fine. I'll go to sleep in time tonight, and we won't even remember this tomorrow."

"We will, I will."

She knew they wouldn't have been able to forget the fight that easily, but she wished they could have solved this conflict. She already hated the awkwardness between them, she knew it was time for them to talk. She wished they could have postponed the talk for one more day though, but his eyes doubted that they had one more day at all, so she had to make an effort. She didn't want him to think it wasn't important to her.

"We've talked about this before, I know my boundaries. You really should try and stop worrying about me."

She knew she was telling him that in vain. It was in his nature to worry about her, and if she had had to choose between him worrying about her, or giving up on her she would definitely have chosen the former. She didn't want to change him, she just wanted to make it easier for him.

"Your work is almost eating you up, don't you see it?"

"It's just been a rough time, it happens."

"It's been too long. How much longer can you go on like this?"

She'd felt exhausted during the last weeks, but she always had the strength to go on, because she had to go on. She was unable to slow down, she considered that as a sign of weakness. Something she wasn't willing to show, not even to him. Of course it was almost impossible to hide anything from him.

"I'm sure it will get better eventually."

"It will only get better if you do something about it, but to me it seems like you don't want to do anything about it."

"You honestly want me to leave everything behind and go on a vacation with you?"

"It's not about the vacation, it's about your health."

"I'll see a doctor," she offered just to reassure him she was taking him seriously. She might as well tell him she went later without actually going.

"Really?"

It was to be expected he wouldn't believe it so easily.

"Yes."

"Fine, because I'd hate to remind you of what happened to Jonas Stern."

She was caught off guard with that reply. She remembered talking about Stern's death with him, how she told him she didn't want to die like that. And for a while she actually made an effort to slow down just a little. Of course it didn't take long and she got back to her old routine. It wasn't really fair of him to remind her of that. Jonas's death was still a sore spot for her. But it worried her even more that Kurt was comparing her situation to his.

"I'm not dying, I'm just tired, let's not exaggerate, shall we?"

"How do you know? When was the last time you saw a doctor?"

"I told you I'd go to a doctor, what more do you want from me?"

"Nothing," he said bowing his head down again.

"Was that all then?" she asked in the hope that they could finally stop arguing for that night.

"Yes," he said and stood up, "I'd love to take a walk, need to get some fresh air. Wanna come?"

She wanted to say yes, but she still didn't feel strong enough to get up, and she didn't want to disclose it to him.

"I'd rather stay and take a nap."

"Ok," he said then walked up to her and kissed her forehead.

When he left the room she started wondering what this could have meant. The awkwardness was still there, even though she thought they'd discussed everything that had been on his mind. But now she started to wonder if there was something else, something he hadn't said, something she should have seen.

Somewhere along the way they stopped talking to each other. They always spent time together, but in the last weeks it didn't mean much more than being together physically. And she knew it was her fault.

It was time for her to realise that at this rate it wasn't only her health that was in danger, but their relationship as well. He'd almost given up on them that night. _I can't do this any more_. His words still echoed in her head. He was a patient man, but she started to fear if she didn't change something soon, she'd loose him. She didn't want that to happen, but apparently she wasn't capable of changing herself either. She'd tried, and it had worked for a while, but she got back to her old routine, almost forgetting that she wasn't alone any more.

She could go on like this with the risk of loosing him or change with the risk of loosing herself. At that moment she didn't see a silver lining, but she was too tired to think properly anyway. She closed her eyes, and curled up on the couch in the hope that she'd see things differently by the time she woke up, and that he would still be there.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: This chapter has suggestive sexual content**

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

He opened his eyes, and they immediately fell on the empty spot beside him. He checked the time, it was 7 am. On a regular day she would have been sleeping next to him, but this wasn't one of those days. It couldn't have been one after what had happened the previous night.

Walking in the chilly evening, he did a lot of thinking about their fight, the fainting and the talk, but he couldn't come to a solution. All he knew was that they needed to change something before it would have been too late. They both had said things that night, things that shouldn't have been said, but couldn't have been taken back any more either. Part of him was glad that she seemed to have finally listened to him, but another part was afraid he might loose her very soon, that one of them would soon get tired of him worrying too much about her, and put an end to their relationship. Last night it was almost him, the next night it could be her.

But how could he not worry, when he saw her getting more and more tired each passing day, but she was still unable to slow down? How could he not worry when she fainted right into his arms, but joked about it the minute she woke up? She told him she'd go to see a doctor, but he hardly believed she really would. He appreciated that she'd promised it, but it wasn't enough for him. Not that he would have wanted her to promise him anything, he wanted her to want to change the way she'd been living during this last time. But knowing her, even something more serious than fainting wouldn't have been convincing enough.

When he told her he couldn't have done it any more, he noticed that she took his statement more seriously than the fainting. He saw it as a sign that she didn't want it to be over yet, and that's why he didn't bring up other reasons why she should have considered slowing down just a little. Besides he didn't want to sound too whiny, complaining about feeling neglected. She should have realised it on her own, she just hadn't had time to do that either.

He looked at her spot in the bed beside him again. He missed seeing her there. He hated missing her. He hated missing her, while she never seemed to miss him. She took him for granted, and that was his fault, he spoiled her too much. He was always there when she needed him, and never complained when she didn't. He was unable to say no to her, while she kept on saying no to him.

But all this didn't matter as long as he felt she loved him, but he hadn't felt it for a while, and that was definitely her fault.

He got out of bed and went downstairs. He looked in the living room, she was still sleeping on the couch. He didn't wake her up when he got back from his walk. He knew she needed sleep, and he knew she would be feeling much better waking up today. He went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for them, and was wondering how this weekend would go on once she opened her eyes again.

When he was done he went to check on her again, and this time he went inside the room. He loved watching her sleep, seeing her so calm. She looked beautiful, and for a moment he forgot about everything that had happened the previous night. He stepped closer to her and bent down to kiss her forehead just like the night before. But it was a different kiss. He just wanted to show her he appreciated her efforts the previous night, this time the kiss meant that he missed her and wanted to get her back.

As he was about to draw away, she suddenly opened her eyes, and at the same moment she gently folded her arms around his neck, preventing him from moving away. He hesitated for a few seconds, but then he saw the corner of her lips curling up in a smile, and since those lips were so close to his, he couldn't resist kissing them.

The evening they'd spent fighting, then avoiding each other and the night they'd spent apart were all there in that single kiss and it said more than a thousand words. He felt that she was sorry from her kiss, that she missed him and that she was willing to change. Or he simply wanted to believe this, and show her that he felt the same way.

But the next moment the same kiss turned into showing their desire, and it simply didn't want to end. They were hungry for each other and that hunger had to be stilled. Their lips weren't ready to part yet, but they already started undressing each other and they were burning with the same flame when their naked bodies soon united, to give one another everything they had, as if they never wanted to take it back again.

And later when they were lying in each other's arms it didn't matter what had happened the previous day or what was going to happen an hour later, because they knew they belonged together and nothing could have changed that.

He felt loved by her and that was all he needed, to know that his place was still on her side.

THE END

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><p><strong>Thank you all for reading and especially for those who took the time to comment!<strong>

**If you want to read more stories from me on here, just let me know. ;)**


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